Maternity

I used to have a special little 6 year old girl in my life. She had big beautiful brown eyes that moved mountains. Or so is how I felt when she looked at me. Her long eye lashes would bat at anything chocolate and sweet. I remember her tiny frame carrying a huge bouquet of flowers for me when we first met. Her head was covered and she couldn't see where she was walking, while dragging her feet down my long hallway. The most polite, caring, well mannered and behaved, sharing, kind, fun, brilliant 5 when we met through almost 7 years old when we parted little girl I have ever had the pleasure of meeting in my adult life. You touched me and changed my life, Thank you.

Our paths no longer cross but am blessed to have met her. She was beauty. I never knew how deeply I was affected by our parting until last Sunday in a guided meditation at my new AMAZING for lack of a better word sanity-meditation-group "Rock Blossom Sangha" (rockblossom.org) did I open up to this emotional bundle of missing her. I fell in love. And am now left with all this love... So have started volunteering with Free Arts NYC (freeartsnyc.org) and have been blessed to work with a talented energy abundant 2nd graders; thank you universe!

I love kids. I adore kids. I want kinds of my own someday but am SO not ready for them anytime soon. I know "it's never a good time" as "there's never enough money, time, or energy" or so I've heard from numerous parents. In hopes I'm blessed with the gifts of kids in my far future, I work on myself everyday in preparation to be a great mother. My parents were my world growing up and although things didn't work out between them along with moving from country to country took its toll they were the absolute best parents I could have asked for. Of course I aim to (hopefully) surpass them, but if I'm even an ounce of what they are, it would be a success.

Dear My Unborn Children,
I love you unconditionally. I promise to always love you and try my absolute best to be the patient, nurturing, caring, strong, honest, loving, teacher, guide, disciplinary, fun mother that I know I can be. I will unfortunately make numerous mistakes but will always admit when I'm wrong and thank you ahead of time for teaching me true love.
Love your future Mommy xoxo

To all the people little and big who has added to my life, thank you from the bottom of my soul.

RY